Haiku #9 hotdog, cowboy, ice cream...

In this life, there is nothing more wondrous than a person who can instantly bring a smile and a laugh to your lips. I've only known a handful of people like this. My friend Christine was one of those people. I found out in December of 2016 that the cancer she had fought many years before, had come back with a terrifying strength.  They gave her a few months to live.  Today, I found out she just recently passed away.

I met her when my oldest daughter was diagnosed with hearing loss. To this day, all we know is that this is some genetic disorder that has popped up in our kids, but no one else in our families. My little baby appeared normal on the outside but she couldn't hear me unless I was in her ear speaking to her.

We were referred to the Utah School of the Deaf and Blind which along with early intervention, helped us navigate this landscape that was so foreign.  One thing that I got used to (and that all hearing loss moms know a lot about) are the hearing tests.  First they start with ABR tests on babies to help monitor brain waves and see how the baby is hearing.  Then they move to the booth. In the booth the 6 month old baby/toddler/child is held by an audiologist and another audiologist helps test the baby/toddler/child's responses to words and sounds at all different decibels.  They do their best to make it like a game so the kids don't know they are being "tested." Christine held my daughter and knew just how to get us all laughing and playing!

My oldest had a spunky personality and she clicked right away with our friend Christine. The two of them got so silly together, I couldn't help but laugh! I looked forward to these routine tests. It made motherhood not so lonely. We made fast friends with all the audiologists, but Christine had a way of helping me process my worries in a healthy way.  She always told me what a good job I was doing as the mother of a girl with hearing loss, and I just shrugged it off.  But that meant a lot to me. She was a very strong woman who dedicated so much of her life to caring for other people and she was a light to us in this confusing, unknown place.

Luckily, I know death is not the end. I believe in God and I know Christine (though a different religion) believed in God too.  I miss her. But, I would give anything to sit down with her again sometime and talk and laugh about old vintage Barbie and Ken dolls, and wonder aloud why that darn Ken doll can never keep his clothes on!


Booth Testing
by Kate Cowan

Dark hair and bright smile,
the afternoon feels lighter
when we listen here.