Haiku #31 This Year's Birthday Present

Sadly, I have learned that I do not love surprises.  They can be really great but I kind of hate people watching me open presents.  I might be an extrovert, but there were times in my life, where I just didn't want people watching me.  Maybe me and reality T.V. wouldn't mix well.

Anyway, to simplify this year I told my husband what I wanted for my birthday and there were no surprises or presents or anything except one gift.  A ukulele. My husband had the thought a few years ago and we decided to try it out this year.

We looked up ukulele brands, researched, and read everything there was on ukuleles...down to the best wood, where they were manufactured, and what was the best size and sound for me.

Today this beautiful little thing came.  For me, it is the symbol of something new.

Last year my mother in law bought me a sewing machine and two beginning sewing classes for my birthday. I was 7 months pregnant and my first thought, was "now what am I going to do with this?" I hadn't taken a class since Jr. High and it hadn't gone well at all.  But I did have a desire to learn basics and soon, I was watching Youtube and doing skirts for my girls, diaper caddy bags, and I even learned how to sew a button with my machine.  By the time the baby was born, I had made a car seat cover and was feeling much more confident.

I am still not a very good sewer, and I am far from detailed or even accurate at times...but it was the idea of something new that sparked an interest in me.  I wanted to try something that scared me a little but that I really wanted to learn. I struggled a lot at first but the elation that comes from getting through the first learning curve is the best reward!  My husband is the same way and that is one of the best things we share.  We love to jump in head first, get messy, and try something we've never done before, working it till we get good at it.  Or at least somewhat decent.

So, this year it is the ukulele.  Something new to strum and something new to research and watch on Youtube.  Either way, it is one step closer to having a piece of a Hawaiian vacation here at home.

Ukulele
by Kate Cowan

This sweet instrument,
curved, glossy, lined in green shells,
awaits only me.

Haiku #30 Movie Night!!!

Tonight was another night of my birthday week celebration but in addition to that, it was "self-care night." It  sounds dumb, but taking time for me is pretty much essential these days.  My husband and I try to trade off every week.  We take time to go out with friends or just go out and do a hike or something individually.  I sometimes find reasons to not go, but when I do it is like breathing fresh air!  I never regret it.

Being a mom has been so hard on my friend life.  I am a very social person and I loved working and talking to co-workers about life.  Then, I got married and had kids and now my co-workers consist of little girls under the age of 6.  So, as you can expect, these self-care nights are what keep me stable. They don't fix all the hard stuff, but they build friendships that I need to keep afloat in this lonely sea of motherhood. Connection to other moms is what helps me survive this role. It helps me be a better mom.

I love movies and tonight some friends and I left for the night and enjoyed eating salty popcorn, laughing about our crazy kids, and crying a little at the type of movie that makes you grateful for your kids.  I came home and hugged my husband and kissed the baby and was so happy that I got the chance to step away so I could appreciate this more.

At the Movies
by Kate Cowan

Down the long dim hall,
a place to settle in and
ease the day away.

Haiku #29 For My Dad

I lost my dad about two a half years ago. He had oodles of health issues but he always pulled through until one day he didn't.  It was hard to come home to the cookies he'd made 12 hours ago.  Things felt so abruptly final. But, I believe our loved ones never really leave us.

I try to visit his grave site to feel closer to him, but it isn't easy.  Mostly because the same body of the man who let me hide in his suit jacket when I was 4 and scared, or held my hand, or hugged me on my wedding day was now in the ground.  I still feel like in the winter I want to put heaters all around his gravesite and make things nicer for him.  His hands are so deep in the ground.  And, I wish they were warm again.

Memorial day is a nice day to visit this little corner of the cemetery and see that things are still beautiful. My Dad loved bright colors and he loved marigolds.  He was a scientist in a white lab coat, and he was a very hard worker.  He read/listened to more books than I could ever dream of and he loved all the Twilight Zone episodes. He was a hippie, and he had a quiet subtle sense of humor that I miss. When I look in the sky at night and think of all the things he is seeing now without the limitations of his body, I wish I could be there to see them too.  And though it is terribly quiet, I know he is still near.

My mom and dad were married in the LDS temple which seals couples for time and eternity.  It was a sacrifice for them to wait and do things that way, but I am SO glad they did.  They were sealed with power and I chose the same for me.  It means the world to me to have that sealing power in our life and in the lives of our kids.

Death sucks... but life can suck too.  Somewhere in all of this, we are being shaped for bigger things. Thank goodness my dad taught me that when I feel sad I can listen to some Simon and Garfunkel, get the sad out of my system, and then turn the music off and move on.

To My Dad
Kate Cowan

In blue bands of stars,
expanding above my head,
he still laughs with me.

Haiku #28 Tasting the Opposites

Today was a day I felt like I was spiritually flatlining.  I do things each day to stay spiritually aligned and even doing those the last few days, I feel like I have been distracted by many good and interesting things that have taken me away from the basics.

So, I went with my family to church and was shocked when more than once I felt very specific messages shared in different meetings that were straight for me.  In my religion (Mormon) we attend three (one hour each) meetings each Sunday and each meeting is taught by other people in the congregation.  No one gets paid, and what is taught are the numerous spiritual experiences we are going through and how the doctrines of the gospel of Jesus Christ apply to us as individuals and families.

Today was a day of listening to many humbling experiences from many different people of how they have truly felt God's hand in their life.  It is not easy to notice God's hand in your life and the only way I have ever noticed it is by writing one example daily...like in a gratitude journal.  But, today I was blown away at how many people testified of learning to trust and have faith in God, how to love God and have joy in taking steps of faith, how to trust God's timetable, and how they have been been blessed by doing God's will even when things are hard.  All of these spoke to me.  I have so many things to be grateful for but it is truly in the hardest times that I recognize what matters.

I was so grateful that I have the knowledge of a true and loving God who knows that through the darkness, comes the light.  We are not allowed to skiff over the surface of the hard stuff, but are asked to wade through it, holding His hand if we choose to. His hand is extended but we have to take it.

On a walk tonight, I took a picture of a lovely simple little flower in a neighbor's garden. It was striking to me that the two colors of these flowers (purple and yellow) were direct opposites.  The colors seemed to bleed into each other as if moving from the darkest hues into a place where things are lighter and brighter.  Yet, both are beautiful together.  I HATE the hard stuff, but our Lord knows we need it to become complete.  We must taste of the opposites to have the opportunity to choose HIM and be better.  In challenges, I am given a choice... to grow closer to my Father in Heaven or disconnect from him and drift farther away.  Whenever I catch myself spiritually flatlining, I quickly breath and realign with Him.  No matter how hard it is, I know things will always be better with Him.

Opposites in the flowers
by Kate Cowan

Vivid purple stacked
into a radiant yellow-
God's hand holds steady.

Haiku #27 Biking with Trains

I learned how to ride a bike extremely late in my childhood...However, I have tried to make up for it since then.  In an effort to feel confident on a bike, I got a fancy cruiser hybrid bike in my 20's and rode everywhere.  I was terribly clueless and it was quite sometime before I realized I had gears that could make bike riding so much easier. It was sad, but I was the nerd who dressed like a road biker and was zipping around on my cruiser.

Two years ago, I hurt my knee running a half marathon and no matter what I did, it wasn't getting better.  My husband and I held a garage sale, saved, and pooled funds, and I got my first road bike.  It is a lovely starry dark blue and it was about one million times faster than the heavy cruiser I was huffing around town.

I'm able to run more now after a long break, but riding my bike is still one of my favorite ways to open the day.  I went for a 27 mile bike ride this morning and though the air was crisp, it was a marvelous day to ride. When choosing a route,  I'm not one for hills.  I like the workout I get going up a hill, but I hate going down, because I am a coward by nature and the thought that only a little rock stands between me and paralysis after crashing at 40 mph is too much. But, the trail by my house is more flat and wide and I love working my way through it, winding in and out of trees, seeing the birds of the lake, and the pumpkin fields in the fall. Plus, the railroad tracks parallel the trail for a bit.  Nothing compares to the times I have flown around the corner only to hear a train come barreling up behind me going 65 mph.  I zip along with it and like a crazy dog chasing a car, I feel exhilarated and invincible.

This morning was a glorious morning to ride as the sun tipped the mountain and cast sharp shadows across my path.  It seemed like the best thing to do on one of the last cold mornings of May.

Morning Bike Ride
by Kate Cowan

Speeding fast forward,
this blue bike lightly balanced,
my path cut sun deep.

Haiku #26 A little walk to the library...

When I was a kid, I remember going to the Bookmobile.  What was the Bookmobile?  It was this weird carpeted van/camper that was filled with books parked in the grocery store parking lot and my mom used to take me over there often to pick out library books.

My mom and dad read like CRAZY.  I remember always seeing stacks of books by my mom and dad's side of the bed.  From mysteries to Lord of the Rings, to anything by Ray Bradbury.  Then, when the diabetes made my dad's eyes too blind to read well, he switched to listening to books on tape.  The Library for the Blind would send us green box after box, filled with tapes and tapes and tapes of books. My mom even volunteered for the library reading books so once in a while my dad could hear her reading to him.  For Christmas a few years before my dad passed away, I recorded one of his favorite books,  The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury and gave it to him to be put on his ipod.

The truth about me is that while I liked reading, I was a SLOW reader.  I read things and then got stuck on a phrase or image and re-read it over and over...trying to truly picture it in my mind.  I loved books enough that I did become an English major, but I found my nitch in poetry. I was encouraged to read and digest poems slowly!!! It was heaven on earth for me.

Now, that I have my own kids, my 6 yr old is diving into books herself and though it has been slow, she is doing great.  But, I LOVE that my girls love going to the library.  We spend at least one day a week walking the aisles of books and picking out anything we can find, including DVDs the girls have never seen.  It is a serious haunt for moms with young kids.

Since it is easy for me to put off reading for other things, I started a goal of reading a book a month. I know that sounds so lame, but for me and my life, that is reasonable. Currently I am walking the aisles of Children's paperback books.  I can't swallow badly written young adult fiction anymore and adult fiction these days is either too depressing, explicit, or too ridiculous.  So, I tend to live in the good stories written for 10-12 year olds.

We hit the library today and left with fistfuls of books and a copy of Reading Rainbow from 1982 that my 6 yr old picked out. I distinctly remember watching this episode on PBS when I was 4.  Classics never die. You have to love the library!

The Library
by Kate Cowan

Colored, inscribed spines,
leaning right collectively-
each a bright new door.

 

Haiku #25 I want to get away...

Everyone was a little grumpy today.  My 6 yr old got new ear molds for her hearing aids (which were in desperate need of being replaced).  But like shoes, breaking them in today has been less than comfortable.  At one point she announced to everyone after she took her hearing aids out that she was grumpy because she couldn't hear and her ears really hurt!

The baby has not been happy with her new ear molds either and my 3 yr old has been pretty mad at me since at breakfast I blindly tried to put the baby's hearing aids in her ears because I wasn't paying attention.  Plus, being a 3 yr old can always mean the grumps.  It stinks to be in the middle, not have as much freedom, and be made to take a bite of dinner to get dessert. My 3 yr old has just had a rough time being 3 today.

It is days like this that I stand and stare at this sign in my kitchen.  Maybe it is the warm weather or maybe it is the fact that I have been researching ukuleles (because I am getting a nice one for my birthday). Or maybe I just want to go on a vacation (longer than one night) to a place I have always wanted to see.

My husband and I are saving up for our first trip to Hawaii and  I put this sign in the kitchen as a little reminder of our goal.  I love goals and do well with them, but this one seems so far away.  It was this time of year 9 years ago that my husband I talked about marriage and decided to move ahead.  Marrying my best friend has been the greatest decision I have ever made.  Each phase in our life together has felt like a new room to get used to.  We stay there and then keep learning and doing until the next room is ready.

It really has been such a blessing to have someone who knows me just about as well as I know myself, sometimes even better.  But the greatest thing about our chaos is that even if we never make it to our island getaway someday, I know we've been able to make our home a little piece of tropical serenity and I love that we will always have each other.

Our Island
by Kate Cowan

We stay by the sea,
our blue-green pocket of pearls,
quiet tide singing.

Haiku #24 Twirling the afternoon away, or living in an all-girl world

My husband was supposed to be home by now and I'm praying he will be home sometime tonight, if the weather agrees and lets him land.  He had a business trip and this was the first time I was left with just the girls.  It was my single-parenting days and there have been plenty of eating out, mommy playdates, fast food, ice cream trips sitting in the back seat with my girls while the baby slept, dress ups, movie time, stories out loud, manicures/pedicures with the neighbor girls, and even a dance party.

My two oldest girls do not always get along very well. They can be down right cruel to each other and it is mostly because they are very much alike.  Two strong personalities with plenty of interest in the same things means there must be a fight over a dress, or a movie, or a mermaid.  But, since naptime was abolished late November 2016, I decided to start "quiet time."  Usually it was a fight to get them to relax and read or play quietly until the last two months when my girls asked to play together and I warily agreed. But, surprise... no blood was shed (as of yet) and it seemed like things were going ok.

Today, they asked for a cd of music we often listen to in the car that has songs by David Bowie, Shiny Toy Guns, Misterwives, and Dom La Nena.  The girls had me come in and they performed a moving interpretive dance to Space Oddity by David Bowie.  Not only am I glad that I have influenced my kids with some cool music (like my own parents did introducing me to Motown at the age of 3) but I was excited to catch some cool pics and video of them twirling.  I have the same types of video of me doing the same thing at the same age.  I guess this whole "dancing in the living room convinced you are the next self-taught world renowned ballerina" thing is a REAL thing.

Even so, it was fun to see them get their groove on and know they will always be able to beat me in a dance off.

(ps-the above picture is my daughter twirling while wearing a sparkling tutu as a veil (very Sia like).  Maybe an odd choice, but it was a costume that I believe the late Mr. Bowie would have approved of.)

Dancer
by Kate Cowan

Sequins and blue lace,
these girls embrace the glitter,
flourishing through dance.

Haiku #23 Another Language

As many friends and family know, two of our three daughters were born with hearing loss.  They are not completely deaf and since they had family all around them who spoke English as a first language, we encouraged the English first and ASL (American Sign Language) second.  We spend so much time going to the audiologist and tweaking hearing aids, and seeing genetic doctors, it is usually my middle girl who patiently goes along or goes to grandma's when we are stuck figuring out all these loose ends. She often asks us when she gets to pick out her own hearing aids.

I talked to a friend about how bad I felt for my middle girl.  I didn't want her to feel left out and sad.  She reminded me that hearing loss would be the other girls' thing, but ASL would be OUR thing. Our family thing.

From the beginning, ASL has become our thing.  We have done baby sign language with all our girls and today, I started to see my third daughter very clearly sign "milk" as I fed her a bottle, or clap her hands together to ask for "more" instead of the fingertips touching.  I learned just this week that babies babble signs with their hands just like babies babble sounds for their first words. My youngest is getting it!

 It just boggles my mind how amazing sign language is.  My oldest still knows oodles of signs and when I have seen her get upset or angry and she refuses to talk to me, I sign and her heart melts a little and we can connect.  My middle girl is also the one who loves watching Signing Time DVDS the most and walks away knowing all the obscure signs for "closet" or the phrase "Nice to meet you!"

We never really know what might happen with the girls' hearing and there is a definite chance that it might get worse and they lose it all together.  That is why ASL has been such a sweet gift for us.  I really became aware today of how many signs I use on a day to day basis and though they are small, they help me be better.  When I'm signing, I tend to not yell as much! But, at least, at night I can simply sign, "I love you" and my girls understand me no matter what their hearing is like.

I Love You
by Kate Cowan

My ears might fail me
but your sweet little hands, won't.
We can always speak.

Haiku #22 Trip to Tatooine with some good lyrics..

It was a long day and writing something of worth tonight has been fairly difficult.  Then I opened my itunes and picked a favorite artist and clicked play.  It still amazes me how music can shift the mood in a room.

So, it is no surprise to my family and friends that I am a huge folk fan.  It can be anything with a good guitar and good lyrics that tugs at something thoughtful.

My brother is a sucker for a good beat and my husband values a good melody with proper complex backing.  Maybe it is because I am a writer, but lyrics are my priority.  How many songs do we listen to that have plain mush for lyrics?  It doesn't have to be mind-blowing.  In fact some of the most simple lyrics are the ones that cut right to the heart. But, one must go hand in hand with the other, or the music can feel too shallow.  Now don't get me wrong...I love a good pop song here and there, but a song with good lyrics draws me in and gets me thinking.

Teaching the lyrics is my favorite part of teaching voice.  We always study the music first. Then we read the lyrics and before putting them together, we deconstruct. We find meaning and look at the song in context and figure out what should be taken out of the song.  Sometimes, there is a vague context and that is when I tell my students to make up their own story which helps them apply emotion.  It is a joyful process!

One of my favorite artists is Jeremy Messersmith.  I discovered him over 6 years ago when someone on social media posted his song, Tatooine.  It was sweet and simple and I fell in love.  The guy is nerdy and awkward, but his lyrics are great. (note: We saw him in concert a while back too as he was giving a potluck concert tour out of people's living rooms.  It was called the Supper Club Tour and it was the best way to do a concert in my opinion.) Anyway, this guy will walk you along with his lyrics, making you think you know what is happening and then things change into some dramatic irony.  (if you want an example listen to the song, It's Only Dancing).

I am really looking forward to someday writing my own song.  It is on my bucket list of things to do before I die. And, maybe if I'm better than I thought, I will come up with an amazing hit that will fund us and our children for years to come.  Or maybe I just saw that in a movie.....

Hand in Hand
by Kate Cowan

Outward and dashing,
the music draws me in here.
Words convince me, "Stay."

Haiku #21 Living Out of My Comfort Zone

I believe everyone should have an "out of country" experience.  My husband served an LDS mission in Brazil and for two years he moved city to city, teaching people about God and living in a new culture. It was eye opening and life changing for him.  Our nephew is going to the same country for his mission and tonight we had an exceptional dinner of Brazilian food.  I beamed as I saw my husband talk all about his experience abroad.

I did not serve an LDS mission, but I chose to leave my home at age 21 and travel to New Zealand to live and go to school.  My best friend and I both went on this study abroad and when got there, everyone kept telling us to be prepared for culture shock.

In New Zealand everything  was different.  It was like Europe but not. The driving, the food, the clothes, the weather, and even the sky at night was different.  But, that is what I fell in love with. I craved the diversity, the different accents and skin tones.  I loved it.  There were times I felt frustrated.  Like when I took a New Zealand history class and the professor kept teaching us all like we already knew these stories or famous names.  I kept thinking, "wait, who??"  Or when my British Literature professor had me read an excerpt out loud and then made fun of me for pronouncing things like an "Yankee."

Plus, I had never lived away from home.  I chose to attend a commuter school and therefore was never responsible to grocery shop or pay bills or find my own transportation...until now.  Living somewhere new was what I needed to change and grow.  But it was scary. However, one things remained, I had a family there.  I was a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (mormon) and I had a ward family that loved me and welcomed me.  My friend and I sang in the choir and took classes at the Institute of Religion near the university.  I never felt alone. We were invited to dinner and taken into loving arms.  Just like my husband's mission, that connection is what made the hard times and the new times,  the best times.

I often think of it there and miss the way things were.  I miss my friends and family there, but I have grown so much.  I wear this ring on my left hand and I have since I was 21.  It is a Maori symbol (indigenous people of New Zealand) called the Koru. It comes from the unfurling of a silver fern which is found in New Zealand.  It was EVERYWHERE when I was there and it stands for a new beginning. It is so bent and scratched up now, but it reminds me of where I have been and where I am going, and that there will always be another day to start over and do my best.

Thank goodness for the chance I had to leave my home and learn more about who I truly am.

Koru
By Kate Cowan

Silver ends open,
unfold across the ocean,
stretch under new stars.

Haiku #20 I think it is time for dessert...

My husband and I just got back from a very lovely night away. With having three young kids, our couple vacations are only a night here and there, but they are worth it.

Well, as we rounded up a good day of running together, shopping, and vietnamese for lunch, we decided to stop at one of our favorite places for gelato.  I have ALWAYS loved gelato.  It seems more creamy and more fully flavored and I live for the experience of eating it with a little tiny spoon. Please forgive the car shot above, I like eating ice cream in the sun-warmed car.

We stopped at a favorite little place called, Sweetaly and chose an amazing trio of Almond gelato, Frallino (like shortbread) gelato and dark chocolate gelato to share.  I was in heaven.  But, what made it heaven for me was the creamy flavors mixed with dark chocolate.

 I LOVE  dark chocolate. In fact I was that weird kid who used to go through the hershey bag of miniatures and pick out all the special dark bars.  No one liked them but I did.  I loved the bitter flavor mixed with the initial sweet taste.  It was a miracle.

I got hooked on darker chocolate choices after college when I began buying Guittard chocolate bars from my favorite hot chocolate shop Hatch Family Chocolate Company.  I also quickly became obsessed with their vegan hot chocolate.  It became clear to me the darker the better.  Which meant more cacao.  I loved anything from 60-75%.  Then I tried some chocolate that was like 90% and it tasted like soil.  Now, I practice balance. But, dark chocolate happens to still be my go-to when things are rough.

Just for fun, here are some of my favorite store bought chocolate choices...

-Lindt Truffles, blue or black wrapper
-Ghirardelli squares dark chocolate 60% or chocolate with sea salt
-Cadbury dark chocolate bar (my usual choice)
-Dove's Dark chocolate bar is fairly good too
-Dreyers Slow Churned Double Fudge Brownie Chocolate ice cream (not too bad for you but super rich in chocolate flavor!)

All of the above are perfect for a chocolate craving or they provide a reasonable way to de-stress after a really stressful day. If this goes well, maybe I will blog about my marshmallow obsession!

Dark Chocolate
by Kate Cowan

Dark, soft, and melting-
the day's sharp edges are smoothed
by the bittersweet.

Haiku #19 Get out your opera glasses!

Most people are surprised to find out that I sang opera all through college.  I have many friends who gravitated towards musical theatre and I teach that to most of my students.  But, I was a student of the Italian technique of singing, so I have a special spot in my heart for opera.  It was after all the early version of musicals, with drama, murder, gore, suspense, unrequited love, and intrigue.

I still remember the day my voice teacher had me buy the Prima Donna's Album.  The thing is bursting with arias (note: an aria is an operatic solo or a monologue in song...like a really early version of Frozen's Let it Go. shudder. maybe that wasn't the best comparison).

Anyway, my teacher gave me an advanced aria and some tips on how to trill and then sent me off to learn it while I was doing a study abroad in New Zealand. I still remember finding a piano in the common room of the activity building and having to sing when no one was there.  On occasion someone passed by and gave me a quizzical look. Well, I took that aria ("The Jewel Song" about a woman falling in love with glam from the opera Faust) and won second place in a competitive competition!  All the work paid off.

Well, tonight after many years my husband and I are returning to see the opera.  It will be Don Giovanni by Mozart and I am very excited!  Most people think of Mozart as a musician of the orchestra but I learned fast that Mozart's best stuff (in my humble opinion) was what he wrote for singers.  His operas were the ultimate trip and singing his stuff was a pleasure.

Tonight should be awesome and I am so ready to get my culture on without 15 trips to the bathroom with my toddler!

Aria
by Kate Cowan

The music controlled,
muscular and breathing strong.
my voice soars above.

Haiku #18 Fuji

Some people are dog people.  I like dogs.  Some people are obsessed with cats.  I like NICE cats.  But I have only met a couple of those.  My husband is a fish guy.  Not because he likes to fish but because he loves fish in quiet green tanks.  He also excelled in planting little plants and growing a little fishy world that was all its own.  Fish do keep me calm, but I myself have always been a bird person.

When I was little, our family watched my aunt's cockatiel.  The bird we pet sat could whistle the theme song to The Andy Griffith show and talk pretty well. I fell in love and for my 8th birthday my parents found a breeder and we bought a little gray and yellow cockatiel and named him Bundles.

He was my little buddy for a VERY long time. I mean long.  He passed away when I was 29 years old.  I love that birds live a long time, but that was hard.  However, I convinced my husband to jump back in and we got another bird about 2 years ago.

Meet Fuji. He is a tiny green Parrotlet.  Not Parakeet a Parrotlet, which means he is a mini parrot.  He eats the foods a parrot would and thinks in his mind that he is the same size as a Macaw.  But, in reality he is the size of a green Twinkie.  Maybe smaller actually.

Anyway, he fills our house with lots of sound and this little green squish can talk.  We never knew he could talk until the day we picked up from my neighbor. She watched him while we went on vacation.

She exclaimed, "I had no idea he could say pretty bird!"

I didn't know either.

Well, since then he has picked up quite a few phrases and left us all feeling like we live in the amazon...with birds that are vain.  He is loud, but his chirps are beautiful and there is something about birds that speaks to me.  Maybe it is my spirit animal as my mom says.  Or maybe I just wish really hard that I could fly. But, from their feathers to their colors to the way they fluff up to sleep, or the fact they can show such emotion without lips or eyebrows... I just love birds.  So why not write a haiku for Fuji?

Fuji
by Kate Cowan

Proud and leafy green,
blue body soft underwing,
little parrot song.

Haiku # 17 Mermaid's Tears

Despite the fact that it is mid May, it snowed last night. So, I felt like writing a little about summer.   I am not fond of the seasons with extreme heat or cold, but I have found some summer things I have fallen in love with.

I love going around in sandals (Pali Jesus sandals if I have to choose) with painted toes.  I also love summer mornings where it is cool and smells like sprinkler water on pavement and mountain air that makes me yearn to go on vacation.  I love grilled food and I love the steady hum of crickets in August. Oh, and I especially love snowcones.

One day I stopped by the little snow cone shack down the street (that had my favorite combo of flavors topped with real cream) and I was oddly surprised by the girl who worked at the shack.  Her nails were the most amazing shade of sea green.  I have no problem striking up conversations with complete strangers, so I complimented her on her nails.  She told me the name of the shade on her fingers was named Mermaid's Tears. I smiled because I have a friend who to this day says she wishes to get a job naming nail polish colors for O. P. I.

Well, for some reason the name stuck and I hunted out the color and gave it a try.  I fell in love from the start and though the shade is discontinued, it has become another summer favorite of mine.

I am getting to the end of my stash of bottles that my mom bought me, but I still feel a warm little spot of summer when I see this color.  It might be a dumb thing to write about but in a house with three daughters, mermaids, mermaid tales and mermaid dress-ups are the way to be. In fact, a very good friend of mine, gave us a beautiful pink sign that hangs upstairs.  It says, "Always remember to be yourself, unless you can be a mermaid.  Then always be a mermaid."

Let's hope that snow melts soon and we can get our summer on.  And when I run out of mermaid's tears, I can find another shade to associate with vanilla snow cones and star gazing.

Mermaid Envy
by Kate Cowan

Some mermaids want legs.
I prefer their cool green fins,
with shimmering scales.

Haiku #16 All About Birthdays...

I have a VERY stern opinion on birthdays.  I believe no one should have to work on their birthday, decorations should be mandatory, meals should be free, no one should feel sad or ashamed by turning another year old, and everyone should treat you really good.  That being said, I am sure birthdays are not always a favorite for everyone.  My problem has always been with failed expectations.  As you can see, in my mind, birthdays should be a perfect day.  But they are not.

We celebrated my mom's birthday today.  She is like me in that she loves her birthday and gets excited for it instead of dreading it.  I love that she is so proud of it instead of being ashamed of age.   I also love how my mom wants to have fun and enjoy things around her. Unfortunately, my plans of having a perfect day for her didn't go perfectly.  The three year old had a first class melt down as we went shopping and chose today to exercise her tendency to be disobedient.  And, the 6 year old, now over her tummy troubles, refused to eat the fancy chicken tenders she ordered because they looked different, and pouted through most of dinner.  Then to top it off, the waiter at the Italian restaurant sang happy birthday to my mom (opera style) and the baby burst into tears during the song, surprising the waiter and making us all chuckle awkwardly.

It might be just a silly little thing, and heaven knows this blog is not meant to complain about my kids, but can't they act perfect for one day???  I guess not.  Sometimes, I just feel so sucked into young mommy life that I feel like I miss other things. Maybe I just miss the calm moments.

But, my mom genuinely seemed to have a good birthday.  I bet spending time with our three ring circus has somehow made all the mommy moments easier to swallow for her.  I guess it is because my mom has grandma moments now, which everyone tells me are so much more fun!

Happy Birthday Mom.  Love you!

Birthday at the Restaurant
by Kate Cowan

Theatrical voice,
baby dramatics break in,
dessert should help things.

Haiku # 15, Three Diamonds are ALWAYS Better than One

I got my ring sized and cleaned this last weekend.  I love doing that because it comes back to me looking like the day I got married.  It was a little rough this last time because sizing is tricky with my knuckles, but everything worked out.

Anyway, I wanted to write about my ring tonight.  Not because I am bragging (though this ring is the prettiest one out there) but because of the symbolism.

In my ring the setting has two diamonds on the sides with little halos and then the diamond in the center is the one my husband picked out for me.  It stands taller and is a much higher quality of diamond than the two diamonds on the sides.

When my husband and I were married I kept hearing about how I needed to make sure I included Christ in my marriage.  Two people can't make a marriage fly very far by themselves, but with Jesus Christ, you can make anything work if all parties are doing their best.  I never really agreed on that.  Aren't you always supposed to love your spouse first?

 Then, as the first few years began, we had ups and downs.  But the down times seemed so avoidable and frustrating. We would sigh and just say we were in a funk.  Life gets hard but I wasn't understanding what I was doing wrong. Then, my husband and I both realized we were putting each other first when that is not right. We needed to love God and put Him first and then with that foundation, we could love each other 2nd.  It sounded backwards and we were both so hesitant to trust that counsel.  But, it has done wonders for us.

Married life is not always simple, or perfect, or even easy.  But, in the last 8 and a half years, the Lord has guided me in ways that I never thought I would need.  And when I have strengthened my relationship with Christ, my marriage is 100 times stronger.

When I look at my wedding ring now, I see two lovely stones in the setting that are roughly the same size and are beautiful, but they lack the clarity and perfection of the center stone.  Together, the light of all three is breathtaking. Together with the Lord, we are so much more than we could be without Him.

Reflection
by Kate Cowan

Firmly set in place,
clear cut diamonds reflect His
flawless love for us.

Haiku #14 Mama's-day (sounds like Namaste)

Mother's Day.  An epic day and a source of mixed emotions for all.  I think it was while I was sitting beside my 6 yr old daughter this afternoon, as she struggled with a bad tummy ache that has taken everything out of her,  that I realized being a mom is not for the weak. There are no breaks.

My sweet husband worked REALLY hard today to take over for as much as possible but I was still bathing children and barely getting a shower in before church started in 40 minutes. And, my oldest, got sick still and needed me to stay by her and to read or talk to her. My 9 month old baby still cried whenever I left the room and demanded I come get her.  

Now, my husband did SO much today, but the truth of it is that mommy-ing never really ends. (this goes for parenting in general). Things do change, but it never really lets up. Children just change ages and need different things. Take for instance when I was super sick and my husband was at work and my mother in law came to sit with me while I felt awful, just because she knew I needed someone.  Or the times I needed to talk because life seemed to be falling apart, and I called my mom. Moms are needed. True it can be tiring and often I find myself feeling exhausted and burned out, but like any relationship, I am learning how to give and love my children the way they need to be loved. Now, I believe there must be a balance in all things (hence mama's day sounding like the word namaste.) But, being a mom is an occupation I won't be retiring from someday.  Every woman knows what it is like to sacrifice for a child whether their own child or not, and that is what is means to be a mom or a dad.

The above picture is one of my mother's day presents.  I am extremely proud of it.  Mostly because through the toil and difficult times of being a mom, my girls still see the good in me.  It might not always be like this, but I can keep doing my best and maybe they will keep seeing me like Wonder Woman. And maybe I will get some hot boots like her to feel the part!

Mothering
by Kate Cowan

This is getting hard.
I can't make it go away,
but I am right here.

Haiku #13 Today's Vocal Recital

I have always loved singing and taking the leap into teaching voice was an extremely frightening one.  I let a lot of doubt and fear creep in but eventually I took on one student, and did my best. Things progressed naturally from there.

Teaching voice has turned out to be one of my favorite parts of the week.  It is so nice to take a break from being a mom and use my skills in singing and interpreting lyrics and poetry.  I've loved teaching music, pulling their sound like taffy to center in their face or head or chest and then seeing them push themselves to try new things.  What makes it most rewarding is seeing these students progress.  They have grown and changed and learned new languages and leapt out of their comfort zones so often, they don't even look nervous anymore.

Today, I decided to join them.  My husband loves jazz music and when we got married, he introduced me to many amazing jazz artists.  One of our best friends is a jazz pianist and listening to her is always humbling and inspiring. Well, this year, I decided to put myself in my student's shoes and learn something new and out of my comfort zone.  I'm very familiar with classical songs, art songs, opera arias, musicals and folk songs.  But, as much as I admire jazz, I had never given it much of a try.  I've only sung jazz once before and I never felt like I did it justice.  So, I chose a song I liked, memorized the music, worked at it and practiced it until I was singing it in my sleep. The song was the old classic, "Cry Me A River."

It was terrifying to jump in and sing again. But, my voice has changed and matured since my last attempt and besides my nerves, the hard work I invested, paid off. But no matter what, nothing I accomplished compared to my four students who have grown in leaps and bounds, some of them progressing in just a matter of a few weeks. These multi-talented students just blew me out of the water today. I sat back in my chair, so grateful to be a teacher of music.

Recital
by Kate Cowan

I am moved by them,
their fearless music soaring.
Now they've learned to fly.

Haiku #12 South Facing Light

My husband loves anything tropical.  I think it reminds him of that dream tropical vacation we plan on taking one day.  Well he loves orchids and we've gone through several amazing exotic plants that bloomed and then died. It might have had something to do with us living in a condo with very little light, we had to depend more on artificial light.

It wasn't until the day my husband moved our latest orchid from its decorative place on the piano to the kitchen counter below the south facing window that the thing exploded in blooms.  Up until that point, we had never had an orchid that re-bloomed but this one began bursting with new buds!

Then one day someone was doing dishes and the orchid got knocked into the sink and lost almost all it's blooms.  I almost cried.  It was doing so well and now it was over.  One bloom was left intact, so we placed the plant back in the sun and walked away.

Within a week or two, the buds began to creep out and up again.  It has been blooming non-stop ever since then.  The south-facing kitchen window was the secret to nourishing this sweet purple speckled flower.  I guess all it needed was the right light.

This got me thinking. There are many types of light out there not all of them are the best.  Some have the ability to get you to bloom but they are not enough to keep you strong.  They just don't last. Or other types of light are artificial and can't do much nourishing at all.  But, some light is true and strong and it lifts you much higher than you were before, encouraging you to bloom and keep blooming.


Moth Orchid
by Kate Cowan

Purple rounded bloom,
yawning in the southern sun,
you're happiest here.

Haiku #11 A little dash of regret...

Everybody has something that they regret. When I was a little kid, my mom told me I probably shouldn't give up on piano lessons just yet.  But, in my finite mind, a year had been plenty.  In fact, it had been more than enough! I never really learned how to practice, but my teacher had never really appreciated my knack for "inventing new songs." So, why would I want to stick around and learn to play other people's songs? Duh!  I will just quit.  This piano stuff wasn't fun.

Then, fast forward to high school me who discovered how much I love to sing.  Which led to more singing, and voice lessons, and choir, and a college scholarship, and even a job at Ballet West singing in the pit. But, I couldn't play.  Hardly at all.  To make up for some of the bad decision I made as a child, I decided to face my fears and minor in music.

So, I took the piano class and the music theory, sight singing and ear training class. I learned a lot, accomplished even more and became better. I could play basics now, but I still couldn't play well.

So, I tried one more time. I was a mom of two girls and I decided to play the piano everyday for a half hour.  I had a goal to play for a year and I didn't miss a day.  Well, I did, but I tried to play ahead of time or make up for the days I missed.  I was hardcore.  And...I can play better but not as well as I wish. I guess I haven't hit that 10,000 hour rule Malcolm Gladwell set.

I talked with a friend tonight about what it is like to have a skill and see it slip away.  If you don't really use that skill, it will inevitably fall through the cracks in your mind and get wedged between your 8th grade history class notes, and common algebra equations.  It made me think that even as I am not the greatest player, unless I keep trying and playing, I could lose what I have! It might not be much, but I have scraped and scratched so hard just to have the musical talent I do have and I am not willing to lose it.

Thank goodness I'm a voice teacher now and I get to use this sweet little $500 piano that was being sold off to make room for fancy new pianos.  I would love to know the back history of where our little piano really came from.  But all in all, it has been my companion through each voice lesson I've taught and someday I will hit that 10,000 hours and will be able to truly play something amazing.

Charlie Brown Piano
by Kate Cowan

My Hallet Davis,
with its sweet simple wood grain,
fills the house with sound.

Haiku #10 Parent Burnout...ugh.

Today I suffered from a nasty case of parent burnout.  It was so bad, my husband sent me an article about the reality of parent burnout in hopes it might be validating or provide some new insight. It gave a few reasons for why parenting can be so taxing... (too high of expectations on ourselves, social media and comparing ourselves, and not taking self-care time). But, it got me thinking about something else...

My girls seemed just too crazy to deal with today, so I let the baby sleep in her car seat, and I went out on the grass and just sat still as the girls rode bikes.  As I sat, I consciously put down the phone. I looked east, up at the mountains and I just stared at them.

I live by some beautiful mountains. I often wonder what people from other places in the United States think about what it would be like to live here.  Today, they were so green and there was a nice topping of snow along the very tallest ridge. They looked so open and inviting.  It is the best time of year, where everything is growing and thriving and the sun doesn't feel heavy and old like sunlight in July.

But, it was here that I felt a measure of peace.  It was just being outside, breathing and witnessing other things growing that helped me to feel a measure of comfort. Suddenly I was more than just a referee for my kids or a source of food and diapers for the baby.  It was moving to let the Spring sun defrost the resentment and frustration I felt for being a mom...(sorry to be so blunt, but today was one of those days in which I wondered why the heck I was doing any of this).

Looking back, as I have traveled the extremely rough road of being a mom, I have found the most peace while being outside.  Whether I am trying to stay active and sane while being pregnant and walking, or I'm pushing myself to do something hard and I'm running or biking in the morning, or just when I've had to fight to get some self-care time, being outside is usually my backdrop of choice.  It feels so real.  It breaks up the gross monotony of life with kids. And, today it is what gave me the strength to jump back in and finish the day. God truly must know me because without these strong mountains that line the east side of the valley, I think I would feel exceptionally weak.

Eastern View
By Kate Cowan

Verdant, thick and wide,
May mountains rise above us,
softening my sight.

Haiku #9 hotdog, cowboy, ice cream...

In this life, there is nothing more wondrous than a person who can instantly bring a smile and a laugh to your lips. I've only known a handful of people like this. My friend Christine was one of those people. I found out in December of 2016 that the cancer she had fought many years before, had come back with a terrifying strength.  They gave her a few months to live.  Today, I found out she just recently passed away.

I met her when my oldest daughter was diagnosed with hearing loss. To this day, all we know is that this is some genetic disorder that has popped up in our kids, but no one else in our families. My little baby appeared normal on the outside but she couldn't hear me unless I was in her ear speaking to her.

We were referred to the Utah School of the Deaf and Blind which along with early intervention, helped us navigate this landscape that was so foreign.  One thing that I got used to (and that all hearing loss moms know a lot about) are the hearing tests.  First they start with ABR tests on babies to help monitor brain waves and see how the baby is hearing.  Then they move to the booth. In the booth the 6 month old baby/toddler/child is held by an audiologist and another audiologist helps test the baby/toddler/child's responses to words and sounds at all different decibels.  They do their best to make it like a game so the kids don't know they are being "tested." Christine held my daughter and knew just how to get us all laughing and playing!

My oldest had a spunky personality and she clicked right away with our friend Christine. The two of them got so silly together, I couldn't help but laugh! I looked forward to these routine tests. It made motherhood not so lonely. We made fast friends with all the audiologists, but Christine had a way of helping me process my worries in a healthy way.  She always told me what a good job I was doing as the mother of a girl with hearing loss, and I just shrugged it off.  But that meant a lot to me. She was a very strong woman who dedicated so much of her life to caring for other people and she was a light to us in this confusing, unknown place.

Luckily, I know death is not the end. I believe in God and I know Christine (though a different religion) believed in God too.  I miss her. But, I would give anything to sit down with her again sometime and talk and laugh about old vintage Barbie and Ken dolls, and wonder aloud why that darn Ken doll can never keep his clothes on!


Booth Testing
by Kate Cowan

Dark hair and bright smile,
the afternoon feels lighter
when we listen here.

Haiku #8 Groceries

Today was grocery shopping day. I know it is quite the thing now to order your groceries on-line and then do the pick up option.  I have several friends who do it. But tell me, where is the fun in that?

True, I feel like a pack mule each time I go (baby strapped to my front and a diaper bag slung over my back and a child hanging from each arm). And yes, I would probably stay in budget more and not buy as many impulsive items that sabotage my "healthy eating." And yes, I would probably also have more time for other things, like cleaning the bathroom.  But, honestly I've found some beautiful things in the experience.

I love the colors.  The produce section is always my favorite, as it looks like a colorful fair with tropical fruits, berries, and luscious shades of green all along the wall. I also love the cereal aisle.  As a kid, I marveled at how many choices there were and even now, I can be caught buying chocolate cheerios.  But the granola, and the oatmeal flavors go on and on!  I once had a goal to try all flavors of cheerios and I couldn't believe how many there were!

Truthfully, I hate meat.  I like to eat it but not touch it.  However, I love seeing the pink packages of steaks that look so thick and juicy.  I also love those blue packages of fish.  No one in my family likes fish (except my brother) so I don't often get some mahi mahi or sushi, but sometimes, I just love they way they look.

Also, the grocery store can be a place of validation.  Every time I go, I see another Mom or Dad I can relate to.  From the kid with the "gimmies" to that annoying car cart that has the turning radius of a school bus that your toddler insists on getting but never stays in? yeah... we can all relate.  We can give each other those knowing smiles and high fives when things get rough.  Yes, I have been known to laugh with total strangers over these exact things.

All in all, a place that gives out free cookies, fruit, and has more variety of salad dressings than you knew existed, has to be a good place, right?


Berry Season
by Kate Cowan

The clamshell box pops,
rinsed and ripe, these berries are
begging for a bite.

Haiku #7 That HURTS!!!

Tonight I wanted to whine. I spent most of the afternoon and evening breaking up fights between kids. I sent individual girls to time out for ripping up pictures, slapping, unplugging the vacuum while I was trying to clean up a mess, leaving the table 25,000 times during dinner, and just being messy and hard. Life seems monotonous and eternal.  And that is eternal in a bad way.

Today I heard several people tearfully talk about the changes coming in their lives.  May always makes me think of endings.  Graduation, and moving, and new opportunities that are exciting and hard.  Endings are hard.

 I was changing my baby about an hour ago and she was such a fuss.  She has been super moody lately and wouldn't eat much.  I've checked to see how the "teething" was going for weeks and nothing was there but warm jaws and gums. I finally gave up.  Maybe this girl's moods just go up and down, which I guess is normal for our household of girls...but it is exhausting.  Then I stuck my finger in her mouth tonight and felt a tiny little sharp edge.  A TOOTH!  Suddenly all the crying, whining, and needy tears had a purpose.  It was a beginning.

This time of year signifies loads of endings but in reality, just like the baby is ending one phase, another is beginning.  Something new is always beginning. Even on the days when life seems so old and tiring, change is always creeping in and stealing away the good and the bad and moving it to a different room with different light.  Change is hard. Change hurts.  But change means better things, and in the case for my baby, better food! YES!

Changes in my Living Room
by Kate Cowan

This room felt so old,
but as the sun rose today,
the light changed my view.

Haiku #6 Reading the Berenstain Bears

When I was a little girl, the one thing I could always get my parents to buy me was a book.  My Mom and Dad had a distinct passion for reading and I on the other hand, dragged my feet.  I liked reading but, it was kind of boring.  But, then I discovered the Berenstain Bear family and all their ridiculous adventures!  And since we frequented the book store and Book Mobile often, I ended up owning many bear books and reading the rest from the library.  It was brilliant.

Then, I had my own little girls and they fell in love with the Bear family too.  The books teach good morals, help me parent through things like "the gimmies," and now some of the newer ones focus on the Christian bible stories for Easter and Christmas. It has been a lovely opportunity to have my girls read some of my old books.

But the true joy has come when I get to watch my kindergartner read all by herself.  I was a Kindergarten teacher a long time ago, and I always loved that moment when my student would sound something out and then a spark would fly as a word was understood.  The sounds came together and like magic, there was the word!  I love seeing my daughter do the same thing.  And with how confusing the English language is, it is a miracle anyone can follow it and understand it at all.

Here is a haiku about reading with my daughter.

Learning to Read
by Kate Cowan

Her finger follows,
letters, rules, and sounds woven
like music played sweet.

Haiku #5! Cooking for Two

Eons ago, I was 10 and my best friend taught me to cook "the best scrambled eggs ever!"  I thought I was a natural.  When I moved out, I could cook soup, noodles, and scrambled eggs.  That is what I survived on. Then, I was taught a few things about crock pots from my roommates. Now, I knew I was a good cook.
 Then, I got married...to a foodie.  I was a foodie too, but the kind that ate out at restaurants.  This foodie I married liked to cook and went to college to learn more about cooking! I knew I was in trouble.  But like an adorable new wife, I made great strides to learn how to cook more things.

I was happy to try to make our favorite things and almost 9 years later, we still try NOT to mention the burned chicken fried steak I made as a surprise. But, somewhere in that first year, we got this collection of recipes from America's Test Kitchen.  We loved the idea of cooking small gourmet meals for two.  I was a teacher back then and I would get all the ingredients and get the meal started before my husband got home.  I would call and ask his help and soon, I started to get better at cooking.  The more I tried the more confident I got.  Now, I feel like I can whip up a marinade because I understand the main components of what makes a good marinade and what can turn your meat to mush. Now if only I could get my kids to eat what we make!

Anyway one recipe from this magazine was our favorite fajitas marinade and we'd make it for anyone we had over for dinner.  It was simple and one of the first things I really pulled off that tasted amazing!  The key was lime and cilantro!  In honor of Cinqo de Mayo, I decided to write a haiku about cilantro. How else would you celebrate?  Red Iguana was going to be far too busy tonight...

Cilantro
By Kate Cowan

Beautiful green herb,
chopped fine, mixed with oil and lime,
time for fiesta!

Haiku 4, May the 4th be with You!!!!

You have to Love Star Wars and now with Disney taking the reigns, it seems like Star Wars is even a little greater.  Or maybe it was because J. J. Abrams took over.  Whatever.

All I know, is that whether it was the story of me being at the theatre as an almost 1 yr old watching Return of the Jedi on my dad's lap, or watching my little 3 yr old daughter enjoy her Stormtrooper birthday party, I'm reminded again that Star Wars is universal. It is fun and exciting and rings true with all the classic archetypes that are part of the Hero's journey.

Today in honor of Star Wars and the weird holiday that May the 4th has become, I snapped a shot of my 3 yr old becoming one of her favorite bad guys.  While being glared at, I was reminded of the strange paradox that comes with parenting a 3 yr old.  It is ghastly and terrifying and yet one of the funniest and most hilarious phases of every human being.  This haiku is for my little storm trooper.

My Three Year Old
By Kate Cowan

Captain Phasma glares.
Her cold stillness wears me down.
Trouble is looming.

Haiku Project Day #3 Braiding Time!

I grew up with one brother, no sisters.  I had a lot of friends who were guys because I seemed to click with guys. Therefore it felt kind of crazy that as a mom, I would have three daughters!  It has been a whirlwind of a ride, draped in pink with tutus, dress-ups, Barbie movies, and Disney princesses.  Thank goodness for the fact my girls love trains, stormtroopers, and Batman.

Anyway, this morning my oldest asked me to braid her hair.  A few months ago, I would have laughed in her face and reminded her that my idea of elaborate hair styles was just a variation of a ponytail.  But, like many times in my life, I felt like it was time to learn something new.  Honestly learning something new revives the monotony of my life.  I have to work hard, but it makes life so much better.  A few months ago, I noticed some of the amazing braids the young girls in my neighborhood were doing on their own hair.  They gave me tips and pointed me to YouTube.  Thus, I learned for myself.

So, today's haiku is about the simple act of french braiding my daughter's hair before school.


The A.M. French Braid
By Kate Cowan

Each section layered,
soft folds of hair braided long.
She laughs gratefully.

Haiku Project Day #2 Running Man!!!

Today I went running.  I used to hate running and then I was converted by the slow steady rhythm of my body with the swell of different types of music.  I think Oasis converted me sometime around my 21st birthday.  Since then, I have loved it...but running hasn't loved me. Especially since I slid graciously into my 30's.

However, after training, races, injuries, and a large does of humility...I realized it wasn't my speed or even how far I could run that made me love it.  It was all about being outside and breathing. It was listening to music. It was giving a smile and receiving a smile or a wave or a slick head nod that made me happy. It was coming home knowing I watched the sun rise even though I might be grumpy later due to the lack of sleep. This combination has made it easier to get up and do it all over again.

This morning I was in my happy place, running (quite slowly now) and another jogger passed me. He had on the loudest, most cheerful smile I could imagine. In that moment, I was blessed with the gift of gratitude.  To be thankful for what I CAN do is not always easy but it can change the light in a room.

Thank You Running Man
by Kate Cowan

Steady deep rhythm,
a bright and broad grin from him,
and I run beaming.

My Haiku Project

I love poetry. I have ever since my first creative writing class in jr high.
Last month my brother in law asked me to write a birthday letter to my sister in law. He joked that I could write a haiku. I laughed at the thought and then at 5am when I was feeding my baby, inspiration struck and I wrote a sweet little something that was perfect.

It got me thinking about how much I love writing and how much poetry seems like the tastiest version of words to partake of. Like dark chocolate it is flavorful and full of beautiful emotion. However I spend so much of my time being absorbed in my role as a young mom I decided it was time to truly document my favorite month of May in pictures and the word pictures of haikus.
Little review... haikus are small three lined poems in the measurement of 5 syllables 7 syllables and 5 syllables. They often describe a picture and then an emotion or idea. They are a favorite and they are oh so do-able! So, here begins my month of haikus until I hit my birthday. I will try to include a picture but for now, here is my first.

 By chance my daughter brought home a library book called Fancy Nancy Poet Extraordinaire" by Jane O Connor. It describes all about different forms of poetry and how to enjoy it fully while being accessible to kids. It reminded me that my girls needed to know all sides of their mom, even the poetry loving writing nerd who has always had a romance with words.

Dessert in the Grass
By Kate Cowan

Tasting sweet poems,
And pudding in the spring grass-
My girls now know me.